The Untitled Book

Page 3

Yea sure, I was telling them what a great guy, you are. Anyways do not bore them, keep them reading. Fine people, now that he is getting excited I will hand it over to him. I’ll be back, don’t worry.

Thank God, he left I really wanted a Rajnikanth introduction, now that he has spoiled everything, but guys whatever he said was total truth. Now my story doesn’t have IIT, IIM or a touching love story. So even before you start let me inform.

The very first incident of my life made people freak out. (If you are wondering what it is, let me tell you it was the incident when I pissed on the nurse the moment, I was born). Everyone was expecting shahid Kapoor to be born but unfortunately it was Johnny Lever. But then it wasn’t in my control god sent me that way and then he had other plans. It’s always been a tradition that things pass on from one generation to other, and the same thing had happened with me, in this case I had received diapers, yea you read it right, I got to wear diapers which my eldest uncles, eldest son had used, and let me bring it to your notice that there were half dozen cousins in between. The diapers were not the diapers one would get in the market in fact these were diapers which were handmade from cloth, which are called “langoti” – used for collecting poti.

Anyways this isn’t anything new; I was just trying to make you feel how it is to wear your family’s traditional diapers.  In fact it appeared as if the diaper was wearing me and not the other way round since I was very thin. It was festival at home, everyone was bothered about their clothes and appearance, since I was to be named, we have a naming ceremony and in our case, we have lots of food and sweets (which I don’t like). Now that I was busy I was left to howl in a corner and the entire house was more of a fish market. So according to the traditions my dad’s sister was to name and she was happy as she had come up with fantastic names, and they were as follows, Summermal, Shambhunath and Mulchand. Now when my parents heard these decided that these fantastic names were not suitable for their son and then named me Eklavya. Phew! That was a lucky escape. Now I didn’t really have Mahendar Singh Dhoni’s luck but this was enough.

All the drama ended, everybody had hogged and made my home a lodge, it took my mom and the maid a week to clear up everything and my dad kept making trips to the railway station for 3 days. Now that all was normal, my dad had got back to work. Mom was waiting me turn 6months, for her to resume work. Mom was at her best, I learnt to walk when I was 9months, and I spoke my first word “maa” when I was 14months. I was growing fast and my hunger unbeatable, mom and dad had already started thinking about my future, and so dad started working harder, and hence the savings had begun to make their son an Engineer.

I started developing into a beautiful boy, (unlike the Johnny lever) and when there is cute baby in the locality the baby is the star. Similarly my neighbours loved me, one of my neighbours had two daughters, they were 4 or 5 years older to me, and they spent most of their time playing with me. Mom still tells me “Sheena and Nina were your first girlfriends” not that she is cool with the girlfriend thing but it was ok once in a while. (Thank god she doesn’t know that I was in love with Sheena when I was 8.)

When I was 2 years old, mom took me to her school; she was the class teacher of class 8 and that too of a girl’s school, so I am sure you can very well imagine one handsome baby between 60 odd girls. Oh boy I still miss those days. I was the star; girls would surround me like bees surround a flower, they would kiss me all over and I was having the best time of my life. (Unfortunately was I was too young to feel all that.)